CHAPTER 1: GREAT ESCAPE

You're all doing well so far! I'll be doing Dumas' critique now, per the 8th post rule.
Remember, this is just a friendly critique, meant for assistance and helping you in getting a good grade at the end of 25 posts.
After this post, continue as normal.

Duma:
Pros: Your character certainly has spunk/personality. Her attitude really gets across through your writing. Your posts are decent length, and the text is appropriately colored. Everything is labeled, and your image is nice. Even using italics for thoughts is a nice touch. Your sentence length is decent and your spelling is spot on.

Cons: (I'm writing more for this area because this will be more helpful to you if I elaborate)
- Plug in your posts into this before you submit to edit. It will give you a lot of grammar advice that will fix simple issues and make your sentences flow.
- I would suggest slowing your pace. Break up your posts in such a way to develop more of your character and their relationship with the others, rather than plowing ahead to get the goal done. The point of RP is not to reach the end, but to tell a story.
In these RPs, your characters can fail or achieve their goal; whatever you choose...just make it a good story. Make it engaging and interesting.
- Your posts don't have as much indirect characterization as I'd like. You speak for your character through non-italic 'narrative' text, which conflicts with your italicized text of internal thought.
I've made a small blurb concerning characterization [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Spoiler:

Try writing what you see your character doing in great detail. For example, instead of this:

Glass said, not sure if Taph could focus his move's power to certain areas.

You could write about how she reacted visibly, expressing her uncertainty through her actions/movements/expression, along with her actually asking that question in her head, if it helps with characterization.
Give it an external view, as if we we were watching a movie. Her reaction could easily be made into half a paragraph, instead of just one sentence.
That's how you pad out your writing WHILE giving your reader something interesting to read.
All action and quick thoughts make for a frantic read. Pace and even it out, it'll make it flow much better, and your character will have much more depth.

-And finally, just a subtle note, not really counting officially or anything: I'd suggest using moves as something...not as structured as the games. While we DO work with game canon, imagine what these creatures would be like in real life. They probably wouldn't have a list of 'moves' in their mind. Try to think of a creative way to work around the games' rigidity in that area. That way, your characters aren't so limited to move names, but using their claws and horns the way a real creature would- more fluid and natural.

You don't have to tackle all of this at once, just take it a step at a time and try to improve with each post. Make a checklist for yourself on things you need to check before you post it officially.
You have three days to post: make yourself drafts of your post, like you would a school english paper. Use the first day to brainstorm, the second day to write a rough post, and the last day to post a finished piece.

And all of this isn't just for Duma: I'm writing these suggestions for everyone. If you think it will help you, use it.

With a scrape of claw on metal the large dragon manages to wedge the tip of a very sharp claw into the top of the still solid metal hinge. The Charizard turns his long neck back down towards them and nods.
The little Riolu's shoulders tremble as Glass's curled horn glows with a strange purplish light that puts his teeth on edge. The aura he feels tingles in his fur and does not fade away with the glow but intensifies. The visible light is gone but he can see the aura pulsating around the lock with unpleasant vibrancy. It shouldn't have an aura, only living things had auras!
Taph whimpers at the sheer unnaturalness he is detecting. There was an aura on the hinge at it was dark.
Again the blue-furred canine shoves a paw into his mouth, gnawing at his dark nails in irritation. Why did this make him so uncomfortable?
Looking up he realizes that his other companions are looking straight at him. His fluffy tail immediately whips down between his legs and his back hunches over, making him look smaller. There's a bitter taste in the back of his mouth.
"I don't know if I..." The Riolu says in a small voice. "I'm not strong like you." or mom and dad...
The last part of the sentence goes unsaid but he thinks it and it is a sad little thought gnawing at his confidence.
He's never used his fastest attack like that before. He doesn't even know if he could.
He rubs his paws over each other, up cerulean fur to the jutting lumps of metal than over to his black furred shoulders in imitation of an embrace. He closes his eyes and tries to focus.
Be brave, Be brave... It is a desperate mantra to try and beat down the fluttering feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. Be brave, you can be brave.

Taph swallows and takes a couple of steps back to still his quivering knees.
"But I can try right?" He says with a tiny trembling smile and starts his run up.
The door was huge in his vision, a towering slab of solid steel and he can barely see the hinge at the top. He leaps the same as if he was trying to use his Hi Jump Kick but instead of trying to drive forwards with a raised knee he tightens a small paw into a fist.
With a sound like a bell being struck he drives the fist into the base of the hinge. Aiming for where the Fire Type's claws disappear beneath the hinge he puts his whole body into the blow. The hinge jolts slightly under the weight but the thing lodged in it doesn't move.

Kaze:

I haven't a particularly long critique for you, as your writing skills are good and very descriptive. I like that you're really developing your character through flashbacks, sensations and emotional outbursts. However, your RPs in other teams suggests that you are much more comfortable writing independently. And while this character seems to fit well with your preferred writing style, I would like to see you develop your character around your teammates. Get them involved in your plot ideas as well, developed relationships, either negative or positive ones. Really push interaction and driving story with others. You can do this with RP discussion threads or pms with your teammates.

ShadowCharizard:

Your posts are decently formatted, with the appropriate colors, length, grammar and image.
However, I would suggest a few things- the foremost being what I told Duma:
- I would suggest slowing your pace. Take some time for your characters to adapt to each other and get to know each other. Before people work together well, they have to create a relationship.
Break up your posts in such a way to develop more of your character and their relationship with the others, rather than plowing ahead to get the goal done. The point of RP is not to reach the end, but to tell a story.
In these RPs, your characters can fail or achieve their goal; whatever you choose...just make it a good story. Make it engaging and interesting.
- Your posts don't have as much indirect characterization as I'd like. You speak for your character through non-italic 'narrative' text, which conflicts with your italicized text of internal thought.
I've made a small blurb concerning characterization [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
- Developing your characters' relationships with subtlety is also something to work on. I would also suggest fleshing out your profile more, to really get some meat on your character. What is his personality like? What shapes him? Why does he act as he does? Really delve into Mathias, and give him real good reasons to be how he is. If he has that heart of gold, give him a reason. Give him history. I've written a short profile lesson [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

And one final note: Once a member reaches the designated posts to be critiqued by a sempai, I would like to request that the next member holds their next post until an admin has posted. We should post within a three day limit.

Thanks everyone, and good job.
The next member may now post.

Glass stepped back a little bit, but still in range for her to continue using Future Sight. Throughout this time, she'd been intent on just getting out of this hellhole and getting to where she could actually be alone with her thoughts, but now she seemed worried about if she really wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She hadn't realised she had let go of her Future Sight attack, her eyes and scythe fading back to normal. She was too busy in her thoughts. Why the hell did I have to be the one to be teleported? I never did work well with others, and I don't work well with kids and young Pokemon. I always end up getting whatever group I'm in killed, and my disaster sense is no help either. Glass thought, her red eyes mirroring her troubled thoughts.

Glass was dragged from her thoughts when she heard another clang from inside the laundry chute. In her startled state, she forgot that she was in the company of a child. "The fuck was that?!" She said, catching herself before she yelled the words. She then remembered that Taph was still a child. Shit, what a way to role model for kids... She thought, her eyes locking on the vent. Taking a slight step towards the vent, Glass looked back towards the others who were still working on the hinge, albeit a bit hesitantly. Glass walked over to the vent, holding her breath from the smell.

"A better idea for escape would be to go down the laundry chute, but I reckon Mathias wouldn't fit, no offence. It just seems to be too small." Glass observed, quickly clarifying her last sentence in case the fire type took it the wrong way and flamed her for it. Don't be a fucking idiot. You know Charizards, they'll never torch a weaker foe unless they are forced to. Glass thought, arguing with herself. Muttering something to herself, Glass looked at the blocked laundry vent, eyeing it carefully. It was about the size of a large box, about four feet by five feet. The front of the chute, Glass noticed, was covered by a metal grate, just big enough to put a piece of clothing through. What did you expect? This is a fucking insane asylum.

Glass carefully stepped back, breathing out and making sure she was away from the disgusting odour of the bloody clothes. Looking back towards the medical tray, Glass remembered the medical syringes. They seemed to be filled with a green sludge-like substance, and the container they were in was unusually thick too. "What if that wasn't medicine, but acid or something like that?" Glass mused, not noticing that she had spoken her thought out loud. Walking over to the tray, Glass drew in a shaky breath, forcing herself to look at he contents a bit closer.

There were two syringes, one was more liquid, and the other smelled of something queer. It was very strange, unlike anything she'd smelled before. It was a somewhat sharp smell and it was accompanied by the tell-tale tang of iron, most likely blood. She backed away from the tray, not liking the smells at all. They hung in her nose, and she fought the urge to sneeze. Turning her eyes back to the laundry chute, Glass walked towards it again, wondering what the thing that was making the clanging could be.

As the glow fades from the sickle shaped horn of the white-furred Dark Type the chill sensation around the hinge disappears. Taph no longer feels like cold fingers are stroking down his spine and he sighs audibly in relief. Whatever that cold aura was he feels a lot happier now it is gone.
"So what do we do now?" He turns to ask the Charizard, ears held back in shame. He didn't manage to unstick the hinge even though his quick attack worked and everything.
Suddenly there is a loud noise from the laundry chute and the Riolu yelps in surprise. His blue tail whips between his legs and he darts for cover, hiding himself behind one huge orange scaled leg.
"You said a bad word!" Taph gasps as the Absol swears.
At least, he thinks it's a bad word. It certainly sounds like one.
Keeping as far from the fiery tip of the large draconian pokemon's tail he carefully peers around to the grate and sniffs the air.
It looked like something bad was coming...
Taph growls, showing his dark gums and sharp teeth. The cerulean fur at the back of his neck rises.
He barks at whatever it is in the grate as the Absol goes over to the table.
"What if that wasn't medicine, but acid or something like that?" Glass says and Taph's red eyes widen in fear.
Acid could weaken the bars on the grate for sure and it would at least be a way for him to slip through but whatever was making the noise was down there. It isn't close enough for him to detect and aura but it sounded like something bad.
"Don't let it in!" Taph bays in a panic.

Glass looked up towards the door. There was definitely something there, which could count for the sense of uneasiness that she had been feeling since she got here. Shit, if we let whatever that thing is get in here, what the hell is going to happen? This place is to small to fight properly in, and we don't even know what the thing is! Glass thought, her heartbeat quickening with stress and insecurity. Taking deep breaths, Glass fought to calm herself. Losing her shit now would be bad. very bad.

Glass looked towards Mathias as he questioned the acid. "The more we find in this place, the more it seems like an insane asylum. I reckon the doctors they had in here used the acid for purifying the insane victims of their problems." Glass said, taking the example from her memories of watching insane asylums from afar. Now to actually be in one, Glass shuddered at the thought.

Who knows, this could be the insane asylum I would watch... Glass blinked at the thought, her breathing speeding up as she heard more clangs, this time they were closer together and they were much louder. Glass flicked her eyes between the door and the laundry chute. "Glass, hold that door shut, it doesn't seem friendly and it's hungry."

Glass shot a glance at Mathias as though to ask if he was insane, before realising that it probably wouldn't be best to ask that, given that they were in an insane asylum. Glass nodded, glancing at the door, a slight bit of fear in her red eyes. "Y-you sure? I'm not sure if I can h-hold that door shut from whatever is on the other side." Glass's fear and hesitation was eminent in her voice, but she stepped towards the door anyway, leaning her whole weight against it in an attempt to hold the door shut.

Leaning against the door, Glass delved into her thoughts again. What am I going to do once I get out of here? I have nowhere to go, I don't even know where I am. How the hell am I going to get back to Coronet? I have no idea what I'm going to do, and what if we never get out of here? Are we even going survive?

Glass pushed her thoughts away, bringing herself back to the present. She couldn't lose it now, they have to get out of here alive, but the question was, how?

The little Riolu yelps in surprise at the growing din, the loud metallic clanging in the chute coming closer and closer to the barred door. His fur is standing on end and his bright red eyes are wide with fear. A panicked whine leaves his mouth and he shoves one paw in it to stop himself from crying out loud.
"It's getting closer." He whimpers. "Is that acid going to be strong enough to melt the door?" The little syringe of stuff smells pretty bitter and by the way the others were talking about it...
The thing in the laundry chute makes another noise and Taph barks in a panic.
Swiftly scrambling over the concrete floor he skips over to where the bitter smelling fluid was from where Glass had been looking at it earlier. Now the Absol is bracing herself against the grate, holding the door firmly shut. Her aura pulses violently, the feeling of her fear making Taph even more afraid. Glass seemed so in control, so forward thinking. If she was worried than something really bad was coming.
Taph snatches at the nasty smelling thing and nearly drops it in his haste to escape. While it was just them in the room it was o.k. but now he just wants to be away from whatever is making that noise as soon as possible.
He fumbles with the tube and runs back over to the door. Get the stuck thing out, break open the other hinge and escape. It was a simple enough plan to remember but...
The door still towers over the tiny blue-furred canine. He can't climb high enough to pour the acid into the hinge and he doesn't even know if it would work.
Taph takes a deep breath and tries to build his confidence up. If he could get them out of this horrible scary place then he wouldn't be as useless as his parents said. He just had to believe...

He can't do it.
He just can't do it.

The noise is getting louder and louder and shattering his attempts to build images of self-confidence.
Taph can feel his heart start to beat faster and faster as a thin ready whine leaves his mouth. His breaths are getting deeper and faster as he gasps for air but he can't seem to get enough in his lungs. He drops the syringe and it cracks along the side.
He breaks out in a cold sweat.
He was going to die. They were all going to die and it was going to be horrible.
The thing in the laundry chute clangs again and the Riolu's body starts to shake with fear.
He was going to die trapped here!
Taph's short black claws scrabble uselessly on the thick metal of the door as he claws at it in desperation. He doesn't even scratch the metal. The clanging noise sounds again, recognizably closer. They'd run out of time! It was right upon them!
Taph gasps for air as his panic attack reaches its peak. There is a stabbing pain from the center of his chest as his heart beats all the faster...then stops entirely.
It does not start again.

Glass leant against the door with all her weight, hoping that it was enough. Looking across the room, Glass noticed Taph entering a panic attack. Back in her clan her best friend had died to one of those and it seemed that Taph was going the same way. "Shit! Taph! Arceus damn it! Taph!" Glass said, her voice raised with fear and it grew more concerned with each word. The Riolu keeled over and Glass watched in horror as the small fighting type's chest stilled. "Glass, move out of the way now!" Glass just registered the voice, jumping out of the way, racing over to Taph's side.

Glass didn't take note of the shit going on behind her, she lay down next to Taph, watching and listening for any sign of life. "Fuck! Taph don't you dare fucking die. I've seen too much crap to deal with this shit as well." Glass wasn't able to control her cursing, she always did when she was worried. Mathias came over, apparently done with the creature. "Its okay now Taph, the thing's gone for good." Didn't he notice Taph's still chest?!

"Mathias, he's not fucking breathing. I can't even sense a pulse! With that infected bite on his foot, he could wake up as one of those fucking zombies any moment!" Concern and emotions were fucking with Glass's mind. She knew what was going to happen. She probably shouldn't have cursed at Mathias, though she wasn't exactly in her right state of mind. Glass realised this and blinked in surprise, taking a slight step back. Her eyes glazed over slightly and her forehead orb glowed slightly. Unlike what usually happens when she got a vision, this one was of the past.

Glass watched in horror as the young Absol drew in ragged and short gasps. "Glass! Help!" Glass could only watch in terror as her friend collapsed, all movement robbed from her, save for a few slight twitches that indicated death. "No! Dusk! Don't die!" Glass choked out, but Dusk was long dead. Her father came up behind her, but his voice was not her fathers. "You traitor. You let her die. Your worthless, your weak." Glass closed her eyes, sobs escaping her.

The vision faded, along with the glow of Glass's orb. Glass realised that her eyes were shut, tears welling around the edges. Never had she actually cried from visions or death, but her broken mind was not registering who was around her. Her legs folded under her as Glass rested her head in her paws, fighting the taunting sobs that rang in her head from the vision. "First Dusk, now Taph. Who's next? Everyone I'm with always seems to die. I'm a fucking death carrier, the fucking plague. This crap is just too fucking much." Glass whispered, her dark red eyes shut as she fought back the sobs from memories that arose with the vision.

Taph stares blankly at the ceiling, his bright red eyes wide with horror yet at the same time unseeing. His jaws open wide, showing each jagged yellow tooth set in black gums. The back of his tongue is stained purple with the discoloration of disease which runs purple tendrils across the roof of his mouth. A cold tingling feeling runs over his skin, his panicked gasps earlier poisoning his blood with an excess of adrenaline. He feels dizzy, like he's spiraling into a fall despite the fact that he has already slumped over onto the ground. A soft screech leaves his open mouth as he tries to draw in enough breath to scream.

His chest is being cut open; he can feel the cold hard blade digging its way through his skin, cutting his muscles as it spreads open his flesh. It is something burrowing its way deep inside him and it hurts worse than any of his failed attempts to Hi-Jump Kick, worse than the bite that sunk so deeply into his leg, worse than anything he had ever felt before. Then, suddenly, the pain stops. The scream that had been building up inside him escapes his mouth as a pathetic reedy whimper. He moves his paw, pressing it to his chest. It still hurts but it is the dull ache of something that had hurt a lot not far in the past, not the intense agony of before.

"Its okay now Taph, the thing's gone for good."
His breathing slows back to normal as his panic fades and he realizes he is being held in Mathias’s arms. The Charizard’s skin is as comfortingly warm as his familiar old blanket back in the Tower. The noise in the chute has been silenced and, though the tiny Fighting Type still trembled with fear, he no longer felt as if a monster was breathing down his neck. The small Riolu closes his mouth with a snap of yellowing teeth. He feels curiously empty inside, missing something he’d never noticed was there until, unexpectedly, it was not.

His red eyes well over with tears which spill down across his black fur to trickle down his blue snout. The paw pressed close to his chest is right over his heart but he cannot feel it beating. The tears blur his vision but he doesn’t need to see the faces of Mathias and Glass to know what they are feeling. Concern layered over a deep all-consuming fear billows up in his aura vision and he desperately wants to tell his friends that it’s going to be o.k. but he knows it isn’t o.k. and it’s never going to be, ever. The little Riolu wraps his paws as far as they will go around Mathias’s middle and weeps.

Glass closed her eyes to block out some of the taunting that was hammering in her head. Worthless... No! It's not true! Pathetic... Wake up Glass... Take a break... Take a break... Taph.. Ready... Take a break... Glass's eyes shot open at the voice. That's right. Mathias and... and... Taph. Though now he was crying, sobbing into Mathias's middle. Maybe I was wrong... Maybe he's not dead... "I know its not my business, but what happened to you in the past and this Dusk that you mentioned." Oh. So he had heard that. Glass drew in a breath, trying to calm herself enough to speak.


"Dusk was a good friend of mine when I lived with my family, a clan of Absol who were always being accused of bad things by the village below. Anyway. Dusk was really my only friend, as everyone else would tease me for being different and such. Though, I got a vision on the clan getting attacked by the village and Dusk... Panicked. Much like what happened to Taph except... Dusk... Died from her panic attack." Glass said, drawing in a shaky breath to calm her nerves and to sort things out in her head. What was getting into her head?! She was loosing it. Not a good thing.

"Listen, Mathias, sorry about swearing at you earlier. I wasn't exactly in my right mind. I'm not usually like that. I usually try to keep my cool it's just that Taph having a panic attack kinda... Brought back bad memories." Glass said, remembering Mathias's statement about Taph needing rest. Nodding, Glass looked towards Taph, who was still crying into Mathias's middle. It looked kind of like a dad comforting his son. Its a shame my dad never paid attention to me. Glass thought bitterly.

Looking back towards the door that locked them in, a shiver went up Glass's spine, making her shudder. Something still didn't feel right. "I still have a strange feeling about this place." Glass muttered, examining the hinge. She might be able to use the psychic energy of Future Sight to help move it. It was too low for her Razor Wind, but her Quick Attack could work too. They might just be able to get this door off after all.

The little Riolu sniffs and wipes his running nose on the back of his paw. The lump of silvery metal that bulges from the back is cold to the touch. Soon the rest of his body will go as cold as that one lump of metal...
Blue furred shoulders tremble as he shivers.
He is just a child, an infant by human standards, and he is scared.
Taph nuzzles closer to the warm scales of Mathias, letting the Charizard's warmth drive away the chill he can feel seeping into his body. He was growing cold.
Tears run along his dark-furred snout and drop onto the Fire Type's scales. No matter how hard he tries to suppress his sadness Taph is terrified. He's scared of dying but at the same time he's scared of carrying on. He didn't want to be like the other purple-spotted creatures he'd seen, monsters with glowing red eyes and blood dripping jaws that killed and ate everything around them. Tears dribble down his face faster. He was afraid of what he might become and at the same time he was even more scared of not existing.
His heart isn't beating anymore. It doesn't hurt but it feels so empty inside...

The Riolu roughly wipes away his tears. He had known from the moment he'd first got bitten that this would happen. He had resigned himself to his fate, to die before he could grow up but now he had friends and it hurt to know that he was letting them down. He let everyone down and now he was dead...
The tears well up again and Taph has to force down his feelings of sadness. He swallows the painful lump in his throat and determinedly set his jaw as Mathias puts him down.
He had known that he was going to die. He had been prepared to die alone. Why was it that now he had friends here he felt so sad?
He forces himself to stand upright, not hiding his red eyes or the streak of wetness in the fur of his face.
He takes a deep breath in, steadying himself against one strong orange-scaled leg.
"I'm sorry." He says genuinely, looking directly at Glass. "I never meant to remind you of bad times, really." He says softly. "Glass and Mathias...You are my friends and I want to help you so I'm sorry I got scared. It won't happen again. Next time I'll be brave for sure."

Glass was glad that Mathias was forgiving. Most charizard she knew were forgiving, but Mathias seemed to go up and above that. "The sooner we get out of this nuthouse the better." Glass grinned at Mathias's comment, nodding her head. "I agree." She mused, looking back towards the hinge. "Taph, Glass you both ready to finish what we started?" Glass nodded, looking at the hinge with a mix of determination and annoyance. "Let's bust that door off. Taph, can you use Quick Attack on that hinge? Try hit it underneath, and I'll use the psychic power from Future Sight to loosen that hinge. While I build up the psychic energy, I'll use Quick Attack on the hinge. I'll get it from the front and hopefully that will weaken it so that you can hit it. With the added help from my Future Sight, we should be able to get the whole hinge off."

Glass paused for a moment to let her words sink in. Gathering in another breath, Glass looked towards Mathias. "Mathias, once we get that door off, that leaves us open to attack from whatever could be on the other side of that door. I reckon that once that door opens, if anything is there that tries to attack, I'll get Taph out of the way and you can blast it." Glass said, looking back at the hinge, Glass narrowed her eyes, as if pledging to get the hinge off.

The fluffy blue furred tail sways slowly from side to side as Taph tries to stand up straight. His back keeps on trying to hunch over with nervousness, attempting to shield himself from other's eyes, but he forces himself to stand up straight.
He feels a bit woozy, almost feverish, and his head has started to ache. He tells himself he is just a bit tired, that the disease can't already be effecting his thoughts but deep down to his bones the Riolu is scared.
He tries to push the negative thoughts out of his mind as he concentrates on the task at hand.
Door. Break it.
Simple.
Taph breaths in deeply, wishing he knew Calm Mind or simply had better control over his abilities. He forces himself into thoughts of confidence to prevent his fear from radiating out.
Even though others that could actively sense auras as he did were rare if he panics too much the others might find themselves subconsciously picking up on the negative aura he sent out.
Be brave...Be brave... Taph recites inwardly, the words a mantra to calm himself and get ready for the attack.

His stomach churning unpleasantly Taph stands and lightly leaps from one foot to the other, getting himself fired up as he once again agilely skips backwards and measures up the intimidatingly huge metal door.
He can do this, he can do this.
With a deep breath Taph begins his run up and leaps.
For a few moment it did feel as if he was really flying before he brings one paw down as hard as he can on the metal hinge.
It makes a metallic clink noise as the metal moves a tiny fraction but the blue-furred canine beams with pride none the less at the small victory.
They could really do it, they could break down the door and get out of this room and then...
Sadness threatens to overwhelm the tiny fighting type once more but inch by inch he forces it back down.
Everything will turn out o.k...just not for him.

Glass crouched down so she was level with the bottom hinge. Her claws and scythe glowed white, pulsing slightly. Adrenaline shot through her body, quickening her heartbeat and speeding up her movements. Taking in a slight breath, Glass focused the power and speed to her claws and scythe. Tensing her hind legs, Glass measured the distance between her and the hinge. Her eyes glowed magenta and the white glow on her scythe and claws was tinted a light pink.

Feeling the psychic energy grow inside her, she built up the power, the pink glow pulsing brighter till there was only a slight bit of white glowing through the magenta glow of Future Sight. Springing from her crouching position, Glass sprung at the door, her claws hitting the hinge. The metal buckled, and a long cut appeared in the metal, exposing the alloy inside. Using the momentum from hitting the hinge, Glass swung her head downwards, her scythe hitting it from the top, knocking the alloy sharply downwards, to the point of it almost falling out.

Jumping backwards, Glass released the psychic energy, and the hinge clattered, the psychic energy assaulting it from all sides. The alloy fell out, and with nothing to stabilize it, the hinge snapped, leaving the door to fall inwards, right towards where Taph and Glass were. "Shit!" Glass lunged towards Taph, grabbing the Emanation Pokemon roughly and leaping clear of the door, just in time for it to fall.

The door shook the floor, and Glass lost her balance and dropped Taph, luckily she was close enough to the ground for Taph not to be harmed. Balancing herself, she looked towards the door, her ears still ringing from the thud. Her eyes widened, and she backed away. "Oh Arceus... It's... It's..." Glass couldn't get the words out. But it was clear. In the doorway there was bodies. Human bodies. Piles on piles. Blood covered everything. The walls, the floor and the other side of the door.

"Arceus fucking save me."

Scarlet eyes widen as the towering expanse of metal plummets downward like a guillotine blade. His body goes limp with fear and the slab of metal throws a dark shadow over him as it blots out the light.
He barely has time to think, let alone move but as it falls down towards him Taph thinks that perhaps being squished to death isn't a bad way to die. At least it is quicker than the disease rotting him from the inside out and less sad than having to get a friend to kill him...
Then dark navy-blue claws are closing around him and dragging him out of the way. The door falls to the ground with a thud that makes the ground jump underfoot and rings in the tiny Riolu's ears.
He yelps as the firm grip on the scruff of his neck loosens and he is tumbling head over heels on the rough concrete ground, landing with a thump on his rump.
The fall doesn't hurt but leaves a bizarre numb sensation behind as Taph realizes it should have hurt a fair bit but he can't quite feel it properly. It's as if his body has been wrapped up in bubble-wrap or foam padding so he can't feel the things from outside as strong.
Shaking his head to try and clear the ringing from his ears Taph hears the horror dripping from Glass's words as she looks out into the corridor beyond.
Be brave...Be brave...

He turns around and the scent hits him in the face like a Flamethrower. Fetid, stinking, bloating bodies bathed in a soup of their own old blood. Rotting in it, melting into the red-black ooze that stuck them to the stone.
The ringing in his ears is getting worse, blotting out the sound of his own panicked breathing.
The metallic scent of blood is filling him up inside and driving out his thoughts.
The massacre in front of him is blending into one giant soup of red in his vision but with fine details springing into razor sharpness in his sight.
There a hand, pale white with a splatter of red running across it. It is wearing a ring of the same golden color as his collar on one finger. It is missing a thumb but nothing else.
There is an eye, staring blankly at nothing and shining a clear bright blue in the torn mess of red that was the rest of the head.
There is a gleam of shining white teeth in a mouth rigor mortis has frozen open in one final scream.
Taph's stomach heaves like it is trying to climb out through his mouth and the Riolu shoves both paws over his mouth as he doubles over and tries not to be sick.
Instead of throwing up however his stomach growls loudly.

Glass could hear the whispers of the people who had died in the massacre. No! They're getting out! Block the door! God help us! AAAAAAAARGH! The blood pooled towards Glass and two shapes appeared, rising from the ground like a horror scene from a film. Two glowing red eyes appeared on each form and a wide dripping mouth opened into a murderous smile. Glass's breathing quickened and her heart rate soared. Adrenaline shot through her body like a blade of fire, and her pupils dilated like a Sawsbuck in headlights. She could see the bodies getting up and moving towards her. She had nowhere to run, there were too many.

Mathias continued on like there was nothing there at all. Couldn't he see them? They were walking right towards him! Glass realized something was off about the whole scene. Mathias's carelessness. The two dripping bloody forms. The way the humans walked right through her. A Hallucination. She was hallucinating. The walking humans weren't real, but in her eyes, she saw the whole massacre play out.

Banging filled her ears, drowning out the high pitched whine of the door when it hit the floor. Yelling and footsteps echoed around her head, hammering against her temples like a captive Arcanine trying to escape it's cage. The yelling soon turned to screams as the insane patients escaped through the laundry chute, getting out into the hallway and killing the doctors with their bare hands. Then when all the doctors were dead, Undead Pokemon burst into the hallway, killing the insane ward residents.

"They killed them all... The insane asylum victims broke out and killed them all. Then the Undead got in here..." Glass didn't know she had spoken out loud, all she knew was that this place was not safe. Looking towards the door Mathias was at, her eyes were drawn to the letters above it. If she squinted her eyes, it almost looked like the letters of Unown. 'East Wing'. This was the East Wing. At least they now knew where in this house of horror they were. Looking towards Mathias, Glass saw he was trying to get the door open, but it opened outwards and the door was blocked. She couldn't see the hinges because they were on the other side.

This door was also reinforced to withstand insane victims. The hallway had many different doors. One was hanging off one hinge, showing inside what looked to be the bathrooms. Then there was another door that had completely fallen off, showing the supplies inside. Two of the other doors were shut, assumed locked. she couldn't open them anyway, they were rounded handles. Looking back towards Mathias, Glass shuddered. It seemed they would never get out of here.

The Riolu clamps both paws tightly over his jaws to prevent any more of the sound coming out.
The scent of blood hangs thick in the air, an almost solid presence that batters at his senses.
Everywhere there is red, red, red. Splattered across the ceiling, dripping from the walls and flooding the floor in a scarlet wave slowly oozing towards him.
Taph whimpers as the blood oozes towards them like it was physically reaching for them.
His stomach growls again, far louder and Taph clutches at it as it twists with pain. He hadn't had anything to eat all day and now the heavy metallic scent of blood...it filled him with disgust and fear but at the same time he was so, so hungry.
The young Fighting Type turns away from the sight and stares back into the empty room that had held them prisoner. There is blood smeared there too but it is older and far less that the scene of rotting carnage that lies in front.
Doubled over he clutches at the patch of dark fur across his stomach as it convulses again. A lurch of his stomach sends a burning bitter taste to the back of his mouth and he coughs.
A few flecks of foamy saliva tinted a pale yellow fly out of his mouth. The tiny amount of vomit lands in the pool of semi-congealed blood.


"Who could of done this to these people and why?"
"They killed them all... The insane asylum victims broke out and killed them all. Then the Undead got in here..."
"Mathias...Glass...I'm scared." Taph says in a tiny voice.
Warm scaled arms wrap around him and carefully lift the trembling canine up.
"Taph, whatever you do keep your eyes closed until we get to the stairs."
Covering his jaws tightly with his azure-furred paws Taph closes his eyes tightly. Not being able to see the bodies helps a bit though the wet noises the Charizard's steps make are organic and frightfully suggestive to a Riolu with a good imagination.
Taph forces his breathing to calm as he tightly holds his mouth closed and tries to ignore his terrible doggy hunger.

((OOC: Do we have permission from the admins to actually leave the room?))