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This is what remains of the region after the virus hit.
Undead pokemon lurk behind every corner, infest every city, haunt every cave.
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2 posters

Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Anonymous
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sat Apr 28, 2012 4:13 pm

Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Do84qp
Temp image.

Name-
Toxic
Gender-
Male
Age-
About 20 in Human Years
Level-
42
Moves-
-Toxic{TM}
-Drain Punch{Breed}
-Poison Jab
-Sucker Punch
Ability-
Anticipation
Nature-
Docile
Characteristics-
Strongly Defiant
National Dex No./Species-
#453 Croagunk/ The Toxic Mouth Pokemon
Height-
2'04"
Weight-
50.7lbs
Pokédex Entry-
Fluid squeezed from its finger, albeit poisonous, is a significant ingredient in remedies for lower-back pain.
Item-
Bandages On His Hands, An Everstone Necklace and A Pokemon Egg
History-
As soon as he was born, he knew he was going to be an outcast.

At birth, the young Croagunk was different. He was born mute and his father was a Mienshao. At first he didn't know why that was problem, till he relised that he lived in a wild Croagunk and Toxicroak clan. It turned out that his mother met his father one day when she went to loot some trainers. After that, as she said it, it's ancient history. Toxic could never understand why his mother fell in love with a trainers pokemon, but he never questioned it, because if it weren't for his father he wouldn't be as strong as he was for his age. His father also taught him how to use TM moves.

Toxic loved his father and mother dearly, but he hated the clan. The clan treated his parents like outcasts and treated him even worse. He was mute and the offspring of a Toxicroak and a Mienshao. He loved his parents, but he couldn't understand WHY it was a crime to be the offspring of two different pokemon. His father was really strong and could beat anyone in the clan and his mother was quick on her feet and could easily loot anyone without them knowing. His mother was the pride of the clan, tilt she fell in love with an outsider. It was forbidden to love an outsider and his mother was able to keep it hidden from the clan, tilt she found out she was expecting.

When everyone started asking who was the father, Toxic's father showed up out of now where and said that his trainer had released him. Toxic's mother was very happy to see him again, but not happy to see the clans reaction. After that, Toxic's mother and father were treated as outcasts, but when Toxic hatched, his parents faces started to glow with happiness again. His parents treated him with the best care and love they could offer, but when they found out he was mute they tried they best to help they son out, but soon the clan took him and put him under strict training.

Toxic really didn't want to train with the clan. He had inherited the move Drain Punch from his father and his father had promised to help him master the move. So he never listened to the clan trainers. He would get into trouble, but it gave his a reason to prove he was like all the other Croagunk. Whenever he got to see his parents again, his father would help him to master Drain Punch and when he had finally mastered the move his hands were as tough as diamond and covered in scars. Most of the scars were from training with his father, but others were from punishment. The clan didn't want him to master Drain Punch, so they would try and cut his hands to show him a lesson, but it never stopped him.

Finally he was ready to challenge the leader of the clan to a match. He had learn many moves, but he wanted to defeat the leader with his fathers move and show the clan he was just as strong as a purebred, but before he got the chance the undead attacked the clan. Many died and many others were infected. He was so angry, because he had not had the chance to challenge the clan's leadership. With his Drain Punch move, he took out any and all undead that came at his family. His father and mother held they're own against the undead too, so he didn't have to worry much, but soon he relised he couldn't see nor hear his parents anymore. They were gone and he was alone. He wondered the land all alone where he now waits and watches for anyone willing to except an outcast like himself. That's when he took the everstone his father gave him and placed it around his neck.

As he traveled he came upon a pokemon and a human. The pokemon was badly wounded and so was the human, but just say the pokemon passed, the human asked the Croagunk a simple question. "Will you look after this egg and the child that's inside?" Toxic wasn't sure why, but at the sight of the egg the Croagunk felt happy. It was the first time in weeks he had felt happy. So Toxic accepted the egg just as the human passed from it's wounds. Now Toxic doesn't let the egg out of his sight. He takes it everywhere with him. Just hoping that when the egg hatches, that the baby pokemon would be able to live with him in this new hell he calls life.
Appearance-
A normal with a everstone necklace, bandages on his hands. Along with the egg
Personality-
He's very quite and not like most Croagunk's, because he hates to be mean to others. Toxic is very considerate and caring of others. He doesn't like to see others get hurt, nor doesn't he like to fight like a "normal" Croagunk.

User Note-

-Was born Mute

-Father was a Mienshao

-He wears a everstone necklace because he is afraid to evolve

-Believes he is an outcast, because he's mute and is afraid to evolve

-The egg will hatch at some point and then Toxic will become a dual character


Last edited by MoonlightEve on Tue May 15, 2012 5:31 am; edited 16 times in total
Anonymous
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sun Apr 29, 2012 6:44 pm

Alright, Toxic is ready for a team.
Anonymous
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:01 pm

Nuuu oAo You aren't going to join Team Faraway with him?

By the way, I like the history :3 It's very interesting!
Anonymous
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:34 am

Oh I am, I just want to start rping as him before then.

And thanks.
Anonymous
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:12 pm

Good history.
Anonymous
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:40 pm

Thank you.
Mewtwo
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Mewtwo Wed May 02, 2012 10:15 am

If he is supposed to be the equivalent of an 8 year old, why is he such a high level Pokemon? Children would not have reached such a stunning level at so young, despite their parent training them. I would say mid-teens to 20 at the most.

Your history makes no mention of writing, though it is in you user notes. Wild Pokemon do not know human writing, as they have no need for it, and even trainer Pokemon do not (under normal circumstances) do it. Why would he learn such a thing and how would his father even know (or care) how to?

Also, you history makes no mention of the Everstone necklace, though it is in your user notes. Where did he get it?

Please revise and then I will look at for approval.


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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Wed May 02, 2012 12:18 pm

I hope that it's better know.
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Mewtwo Wed May 02, 2012 3:03 pm

Even at age 13 he wouldn't be a level 45, that would be more of an adult.

Also, you still haven't told me why he should be able to read and write. It is usually only accepted in a profile with good, solid reasoning and logic.

What would it even add to your character in the RP other than just a colorful addition to his profile?


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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Wed May 02, 2012 3:26 pm

Er, I lowered the lv alittle, cause I want him to know Poison Jab and about the reading and writing,

"His parents treated him with the best care and love they could offer, but when they found out he was mute they tried they best to help they son out, so they taught him how to write, but the clan took him and placed him under strict training."

Not sure it that alright, but sense his parents kinda felt sorry for him being born mute and his father knowing how to talk, read and write, he taught Toxic all that.

Hmm, I guess that true, but it would let him communicate with other pokemon. Sense he can't talk and all that.

Edit:
If his lv is still to high, i'll make Poison Jab a TM move.
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Lugia Sun May 06, 2012 1:45 pm

You're missing two "new" parts of the profile: Appearance and Personality. Please include them in your profile.

You didn't edit the original to have anything to do with reading or writing, and the small paragraph you've provided in the extra comments isn't enough. How did his parents learn to teach him? Not all trainer pokemon learn how to read and write, and there's little support as to why fighting and thieving pokemon -not scholarly- would know how. Besides, you can convey much more subtle emotions, demands and whatnot from the universal language of body language. Just about anyone, anything understands that.

And yes, the level is still too high. I'd cap it at around 30. Also, how did they get TM's to teach him? I might've missed it.


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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) TGJeE

Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Lugia_sprite_by_winter_skyline-d4i2tmkToxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) JeIGhToxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) ShadowlugiaToxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Lugia
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sun May 06, 2012 2:29 pm

For the tm's two things:

His father came with a few and sense the clan specializes in looting trainers and such, they got some that way.

*Sighs* I'll add them in, in a minute.

No, ONLY his FATHER knows how to do all that. The clan doesn't and that's one of many reason's why the clan hates outsiders.

Um, can he be lv 32? So he can keep Sucker Punch?
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Post by Lugia Sun May 06, 2012 2:38 pm

Well, even with that new information, I still don't see how a pokemon trained to fight would know how to read. There's no information to support it in your profile, and there's a vast amount of time needed to become fluent in a language, as well as training to a high level. I made the cap 30 because you specified they trained a lot, but learning a language takes just as much -maybe even more- time as training to fight. With the age set so low, I can't allow both. They're only 13. You're just going to have to choose.

As for Sucker Punch, I might, if you take out the reading thing. If you don't want to have to deal with the consequences and difficulties of a mute character, then don't make them mute. It's as simple as that.


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______________________________
Spoiler:
Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) TGJeE

Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Lugia_sprite_by_winter_skyline-d4i2tmkToxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) JeIGhToxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) ShadowlugiaToxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Lugia
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sun May 06, 2012 2:45 pm

Eve if it helps - since I have a mute character myself - I'd say that they won't need to learn how to writer/read to technically do everything. There's hand motions that could bring a whole new experience. I mean, I know my character reads and write, but in situations where a pen/paper is not available, I would have to put the character in the situation where she must use hand motions.

Put yourself in your characters shoes for a moment and think about their feelings, because you say that he's an outcast, wouldn't he attempt to communicate with others to change that?

I'm not trying to be pushy into you changing it :U But this is the advice I offer.
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sun May 06, 2012 2:51 pm

I raised his age, his lv and:

"-He's LIMITED on what he can write and read, so he uses hand motions"


I still have to edit his history to fit but, please be happy
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sun May 06, 2012 3:05 pm

There....it's been edited.

Now be happy!!!
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Mewtwo Sun May 06, 2012 5:52 pm

Calm down Eve, this is for the quality of your character and the RP. Please don't stress over a profile review.

I still have issues with reading, especially since you said his parents taught him so that he could communicate. No one else in his clan can read, so what would be the point?

Take for example a children's classic, the Trumpet of the Swan. He was born mute, and so when he was tired of being picked on went to a humans school for a year to learn how to read and write. But when he got back to show everyone, they still couldn't understand him because they had no idea how to read. All they saw were funny shapes. So his father stole a trumpet for him (which is still far-fetched because they don't have lips, but eh) so that he could have a voice.

Does that make a little more sense on why we have been questioning it? Even if he can read and write, however limited, no one else would understand him anyway.


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Post by Guest Mon May 07, 2012 2:42 pm

Alright, it's somewhat fixed.

I still need to edit his history, but i'm having a very bad breakdown right know. So please be patient with me.

And i'm sorry. Just been really emotional lately.
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Post by Mewtwo Tue May 08, 2012 5:43 pm

Take your time dear. Just let me know when you want me to look at him again.


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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Tue May 08, 2012 5:44 pm

You can look at him know.
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Post by Mewtwo Tue May 08, 2012 6:55 pm

Making the elders able to read and write is not the choice we gave you dear. It is highly unlikely that even one Pokemon can learn to do these things, but half of a wild clan? Impossible.

I am placing this character inactive until it is revised properly.


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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Tue May 08, 2012 6:58 pm

Alright then. What do ya suggest I do?
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Post by Mewtwo Tue May 08, 2012 6:59 pm

All of our suggestions, and Lugia's Ultimatum, are in the profile responses. You've seen them already.


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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Tue May 08, 2012 7:14 pm

Alright, I took out all the reading and writing, but i'm determined to have him be mute.
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Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn) Empty Re: Toxic the Mute Croagunk(Faraway, Hoenn)

Post by Guest Sun May 13, 2012 4:48 pm

Um, can someone take Toxic out of Inactive please?

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