The SILVER Team (PLOT)

The Zubat squeaked heartily in response the the Noibat. "Hi there, friend!" Her ears perked up tall, a broud grin on the little mammal's face. "Bat friend!" Blue's face allowed a small smile, an expression that rapidly fell with Red's own biting remark.

"Really, Blue? The stupid Zubat again? You can't just leave it in its pokeball-- it'll be fine. You don't need to fucking check on it."

His sharp words were not met defensively that time, though. Instead, the former gym leader frowned, his eyes hard as he looked to the other boy. "She's not hurting you, lay off. There's no undead, no anything on the mountain. We both saw the bone pile, and Mikhail has been alone up here for God knows how long.

"I haven't kept her in her ball most of the day thus far and I'm not starting now without reason."

Blue turned to Red, the brunette's eyes hard as the craggy walls that surrounded them. "She's not hurting you, lay off. There's no undead, no anything on the mountain. We both saw the bone pile, and Mikhail has been alone up here for God knows how long." Red glared at Blue's terrible logic, but the man continued despite it. "I haven't kept her in her ball most of the day thus far and I'm not starting now without reason."

"That's ridiculous. You trust the word of an unevolved bat-child and just assume that bone pit had all of the infected in it? What about other pokemon outside of the mountain that just happened to wander in, or were attracted by all the fighting that probably happened to get those bones in that pit in the first fucking place?" He sat forward, hands at his side as his glare narrowed further, causing little Mikhail to cower behind Blue's leg. "Put the Zubat back in its goddamn ball. It's fine."

It was frustrating to hear Red make a logical point, seeing as most of Blue's life had consisted of him thinking the man was wrong because...well, because he was Red. Even now, his stubborn side was insisting on keeping Daisy out of her ball just to prove a point; he loathed each time the little Zubat had to be sent back to her Pokeball. But again, what Red was saying was not irrational, and made sense no matter how much Blue did not want to admit it. Damn it, he couldn't even keep one of his own Pokemon out without Red finding an exact reason why that would be a "really stupid idea." Thanks, Red; even an unforeseen, kind-of-unwanted heart-to-heart couldn't stop him from treating Blue like a vacuous child. Nothing could possibly ever go wrong here.

"That's ridiculous. You trust the word of an unevolved bat-child and just assume that bone pit had all of the infected in it? What about other pokemon outside of the mountain that just happened to wander in, or were attracted by all the fighting that probably happened to get those bones in that pit in the first fucking place?" Blue glares back at his rival, which was par for the course, but something else lingers in the back of his mind; the way Red had acted towards Umbreon and himself. Even after his breakdown, Red was still...well, better not to give him any ideas. Daisy would be better off staying out of the open, for now. "Put the Zubat back in its goddamn ball. It's fine."
"Fine," Blue snaps in return, already beyond done with Red constantly pushing him around and well aware that Mikhail was once more spooked by the other man. "Sorry about this, Dais," he whispers to the Zubat, who looks crestfallen to be taken away from the other bat as she is once again returned to her Pokeball. Goddamn it, Blue hates doing that, and it was even worse considering that it was what Red wanted, not him.

"There. Happy now?"

Of course, Blue didn't take the command well. "Fine," he snapped back without missing a beat, lowering his voice only to keep from further frightening the small bats at his lap. "Sorry about this, Dais," he whispered, causing Red to roll his eyes. It was a caught pokemon. Why bother apologizing to it? Its life was already half spent in a poke ball-- why waste time for feeling sorry for it? It wasn't like a poke ball was painful or anything. Fucking bleeding heart.

"There. Happy now?"

"Yeah. Ecstatic. While you're at it, maybe try fishing out a poke ball to put that one away, too," Red barked back, gesturing at the remaining bat. "The little shit's giving me tinnitus." Mikhail huffed at the comment, but didn't seem to have the courage to actively stand against Red. Instead, he turned to Blue and asked in a not-as-quiet-as-he-thought-it-was whisper, "What's ten-eye-tuss?"

"Yeah. Ecstatic. While you're at it, maybe try fishing out a poke ball to put that one away, too," Red's angry response was accompanied by a not-so-vague gesture towards Mikhail; Blue liked the little bat, but he already kept enough Pokemon as it was. Umbreon didn't have a Pokeball of his own anymore, which technically meant there was room, but Blue was reluctant to take anyone else regardless. Keeping one young bat safe and not terrified out of her mind was already a struggle, God forbid he take two.
"He's not mine." Blue finds himself smiling a tiny bit-barely more than a twitch, really-as Mikhail isn't able to fire back any witty retort. Yeah, he'd had that same reaction countless times before-poor guy would just have to get used to Red's pissiness, like Blue has...kind of. "Besides, I think he really likes you more." It was probably best not to bring up the fact he had a full team; Red might've been a dick, but Blue wasn't going to go and rub more salt in the wound.

But then, the Noibat turned to him, the actually nice one. "What's ten-eye-tuss?" Mikhail asked in a stage whisper, his child's voice able to be heard clearly despite his attempts otherwise. On the bright side, Red wasn't threatening to shoot the bat this time for talking too much.
"It's when you hear sounds that aren't actually there," Blue replied sagely. "Like ringing. Or Red's voice."

"He's not mine," was Blue's easy reply, to which Red not-so-subtly rolled his eyes at. Yeah. That was the entire point. Master of the art of conversation, this guy. "Besides, I think he really likes you more." Red's glare focused and intensified a fraction as he redirected his attention back to his rival, daring the man to go further on that trail of thought. But likely in an act of self-preservation, Blue left it there. Red was content, at least, to leave it there as well.

At the bat's question, Blue seemed ready enough to give the answer. "It's when you hear sounds that aren't actually there," he replied almost intelligently. Almost. "Like ringing. Or Red's voice."

Mikhail found it funny, as the tiny bat started snickering and hiding his face in the leg of Blue's pants to muffle the noise. Red's glare never faltered as he leaned back against the rock behind him. "Pretty sure you two have the constant, shrill noise covered," he growled. A rumble overhead drew his attention back to the sky, which had quickly turned a solid grey. Great. The rain was about to start and he was stuck with these two fucking morons until it finally let up. Who knew how long that was going to be...?

"I'm boooooooooooooored," the small bat suddenly whined, flopping onto his back, the energy that it took to keep him upright shockingly gone. He gave some nonsensical noises and grunts before almost chanting, "Bored, bored, boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored."

Red's eyes went back to the weather. However long the rain was going to be, it'd be too fucking long.

Blue's smile grew a little more as Mikhail found the joke hilarious, the Noibat muffling his laughter even as Red's perpetual glare refused to budge. "Pretty sure you two have the constant, shrill noise covered," was the completely unsurprising response from him, one that was quickly followed by the telltale resounding sounds of coming rain. Well, it looked like he and Mikhail were going to be stuck with Red for some time...or was it the other way around? Blue certainly wasn't looking forward to being caught here with him after everything that had happened, and when Red was still being bitchy. It was going to be an arduous task not pissing the other off too much until the rain eventually stopped, yet in a way, the idea of annoying Red without even trying was oddly satisfying. And kinda juvenile.

Mikhail, however, was proving to be far more juvenile than that thought, with his complaining: "I'm boooooooooooooored," the Noibat cried, collapsing onto the ground as if he couldn't find the energy to go on. Like any other child, his whining was accompanied by sounds that even the far more patient Blue didn't want to hear all day. "Bored, bored, boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored." Oh, boy. It looked like the one to keep this kid entertained was going to have to be him; it was a shame that he didn't still have Daisy out of her ball. The two could have gotten along easily, and his Zubat needed company of her own age rather than battle-hardened Pokemon...but there was no way he was going to take that risk, at least not for some time.
"Well, complaining won't help," Blue told Mikhail, hoping his words would provide some sort of distraction for the "fatigued" bat child. If nothing else, Umbreon and the others were no doubt returning before the rain actually began, and maybe their presence would be enough to keep the Noibat from accidentally making Blue's rival even more mad. "What do you usually do when you're bored?"

He was going to shoot the thing. Yeah. Or strangle it. Just, take his hands and wring the little shit's neck. Should be easy enough-- its neck was tiny, after all. Yeah. Strangling sounded good. Or maybe bludgeoning it with a rock. Thankfully, for once, Blue proved his usefulness by being eternally more patient than Red ever could hope to be. "Well, complaining won't help," was Blue's cheery comment, the gentle timbre of his voice grating on Red's perpetually frayed nerves. The bat responded well to him, though, perking slightly, but not fully returning to his feet. "What do you usually do when you're bored?"

"Well," Mikhail began, still lying pathetically on his back, listless. "I fly around or I eat or I beat up some rocks or something. But there's nothing to do here and I'm bored and no one will play with meeeeeeeee." He punctuated his severe discomfort by whining more, but the rest of his sounds were just unintelligible moans and whimpers. He did start to flail his tiny wings and tiny feet against the craggy ground, as if it would do anything to alleviate his boredom.

"You could always just, you know, leave," Red growled through the bat's wailing.

"But I like you guys. No one's been around for so long and I don't want to be alone again, but I'm super booooooooored and no one will play with meeeeee!"

Red leaned back, his face suddenly bright with a cheery grin. "I know a game we can play." Mikhail immediately spun onto his wings and feet, exhilarated.

"Really?! What is it?!"

It took only a small shift in his posture for Red to snatch something from his side, producing a handgun. He pulled back on the mechanisms, ensuring the next bullet was settled and ready to fire before pointing it at the now wide-eyed bat, his large grin still very intact. "It's a dodging game. It'll be super fun, I promise."

"Well, I fly around or I eat or I beat up some rocks or something. But there's nothing to do here and I'm bored and no one will play with meeeeeeeee." Mikhail dissolved back into childish whimpering, as if he were a small dog instead of a bat, and Blue's smile faded back into a slight frown. His hopes of distracting the kid hadn't panned out; just how was he supposed to keep a hyperactive, loud child entertained in a place as dull as this? Umbreon and the others weren't back yet, so he couldn't expect any help there. Daisy would know exactly what to do. She was a prodigy when it came to caring for young Pokemon, after all. The thought of his kind, patient sister brought yet another cutting pain to Blue's chest; who knew if he'd ever have the chance to see her again?

"You could always just, you know, leave," was Red's sharp response to the bat's continued flailing, but despite his tone, Mikhail did not let up. Blue did not have a good feeling about this. His rival had already threatened the Noibat once, and that was before the little guy had started making all this noise. "But I like you guys. No one's been around for so long and I don't want to be alone again, but I'm super booooooooored and no one will play with meeeeee!" Sensing the line Mikhail was just about leaping over, Blue was about to suggest that he hang out with Arcanine instead of crying-his hand was even ready to grab the Pokeball-but Red was quicker to speak, and his quickly-transformed tone set off every red flag and every warning bell Blue possibly had.

"I know a game we can play."
"Really?! What is it?!" Mikhail leapt up in excitement, completely oblivious. In what felt like less than a second, Red had a gun out and was ready to plant a bullet right into Mikhail, smiling like a maniac all the while. "It's a dodging game. It'll be super fun, I promise." Of course, Blue went and made the dumbest decision possible, planting himself between the bat and Red, Arcanine and every other Pokemon besides Mikhail forgotten at that moment. This wasn't the fragile, emotion-wracked Red from before who could have the gun snatched away from him; all that would get Blue was a bullet in the chest.

"Put the gun away, Red," Even as he said it, Blue was already thinking up a response in his head: Or what? He had no leverage here, nothing to shield Mikhail with other than his own body, and somehow he didn't think that would stop Red. His Pokemon couldn't do anything, and there was no way in hell Blue was going to let them be put in the path of a bullet. "He's just a kid, for fuck's sake!"

Of course Red should have anticipated Blue jumping to the stupid bat's rescue. Of COURSE Blue the Fucking Boy Scout would have planted himself in harm's way in a bid to save a stupid annoying bat he didn't even own. Ugh."Put the gun away, Red," he snapped sternly, earning an exhausted, frustrated sigh from the soldier. Maybe he could still just shoot past Blue... "He's just a kid, for fuck's sake!"

"That doesn't stop him from being super fucking annoying, Blue. I've shot younger for less," Red barked back, getting to his feet to glower up at Blue. Shame and guilt prodded his soul, but he brushed it off. They would have died anyway. It was better that he ended it quickly for them. "So get him to shut up or I'll make him shut up. You can't fling yourself in front of my guns forever, Blue, and one day, it might not matter that you're in the way." He shouldered past Blue, stomping off and sticking his gun into his belt. "I'm gonna go piss. Don't mess with my stuff."

Mikhail watched the exchange with wide, scared eyes from behind a rock, only lifting himself up once Red was out of sight. "I'm sorry..." his little voice quivered, cracking slightly as tears threatened to fall. "I didn't mean to... make him so mad..." He sniffled and lowered himself behind the rock a fraction. "Why is he so mean?"

It had to be some stroke of dumb luck that Red didn't shoot him then and there. "That doesn't stop him from being super fucking annoying, Blue. I've shot younger for less," That response did nothing to make him feel any better about the other man's mental state; Blue didn't want to hear about children being murdered, especially not from someone like Red. It made his gut twist thinking of uninfected kids being shot for no reason at all-but what was even worse was how much sense it made. He already shot his own, so doing the same thing to other Pokemon... Whether young or old, Blue wasn't sure if his rival felt anything towards Pokemon dying anymore. Maybe killing his own Pokemon had simply made him numb; it didn't explain that burst of emotion from before, but Blue had no idea what to make of anything involving Red anymore.

"So get him to shut up or I'll make him shut up. You can't fling yourself in front of my guns forever, Blue, and one day, it might not matter that you're in the way." I'm surprised it even mattered in the first place. Blue was not about to be pushed around by Red, no matter how threatening he made himself to be; sure, Red could shoot him. It wasn't like he was above doing so. But if Red did, then he could damn well expect to have Umbreon going for his throat before he could fire another shot. The vulpine wasn't yet back, but Blue would have to remember to keep him by his side far more often. If Red was going to make threats, Blue wasn't going to let things be easy for him. "I'm gonna go piss. Don't mess with my stuff."

"Yes, because I have such an interest in whatever you're hauling around," Blue said irritably, but Red had already stormed off. He was sorely tempted to punch a wall. That entire exchange was why Blue had avoided other people for so long-in times like these, they were all so quick to fight, hostile, and impossible to get along with. I should've never stepped foot here. At this point, Blue was thoroughly convinced that he would have been a lot better off with only his own Pokemon for company. Mikhail had finally poked his head out of hiding, the little bat looking rightfully scared out of his mind.
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to... make him so mad..." The Noibat was about to cry, Blue could even see the tears, and it broke his heart. First the kid's mom had gone missing, and now he had to deal with Red threatening to kill him over stupid kid stuff. The little guy deserved a lot better than his messed-up rival or the entire shitty apocalypse. "Why is he so mean?"

That was a good question...but how was Blue supposed to explain Red and everything that had happened to him? Even he didn't know the full story, nor did he understand exactly what was going on with the other man. There was no way Mikhail was going to get half of what Blue could possibly tell him, and god knew how Red would react if he found out Blue told Mikhail about his Pokemon.
"He's...been through a lot. Too much for anyone but him to tell," Blue said to the little bat, each word careful, "I know you didn't want that to happen, or even knew it would, but you'll have to be more quiet from now on. Red isn't like me. He'd hurt both of us if we pushed him enough, and I won't always be able to stop it."

"He's...been through a lot. Too much for anyone but him to tell," Blue-guy began carefully, Mikhail's large ears rising as he listened. "I know you didn't want that to happen, or even knew it would, but you'll have to be more quiet from now on. Red isn't like me. He'd hurt both of us if we pushed him enough, and I won't always be able to stop it."

The little bat sniffled, blinking the tears away for a small while before he slowly and carefully emerged from behind his hiding place. "Been through a lot"? Did that mean Red-guy was sad? Mikhail gently clawed his way back up Blue-guy's pants to rest on his shoulder, the feeling of being higher easing his own anxiety and to aid his thoughts. Momma had always been angry at everything in the world, sometimes even Mikhail himself, but those outbursts always led to long bouts of sad silence later. Anger at what was beyond the young bat, but he'd observed it for too long not to be able to recognize the parallels in behavior. Memories of Momma watching the stars slowly roll by, tears falling from her face flashed in his mind's eye. She never told him what about the stars made her so sad, no matter how much he asked, but... it didn't mean that she wasn't sad in the first place.

So, the question was, was Red-guy the same way? It boggled Mikhail's young mind to try and decipher a stranger's motives and personality so quickly, especially since he was still coming down from being very, very frightened. Even Blue-guy didn't think Red-guy was bluffing about killing everyone. Death threats he was used to; that was how Momma solved all her problems with Meanies or other pokemon that tried to take their stuff. Or when Mikhail himself was being "obnoxious" or "trying" or "an annoying piece of shit", as she had put it. But she'd never actually tried hurting Mikhail... Would Red-guy?

"I didn't mean to... get you in trouble," he spoke quietly, eyes cast down. "I just... I'm just really glad I'm not alone anymore..." He sniffled again, keeping his face close to the warm cloth he clung to. "I'm sorry. I'll be more quiet. I'm just... so happy I found you two."

---

Red let out an angry groan as he finished his business, venting the residual frustration from the confrontation not a few minutes ago. He wasn't far from their campsite, but he was far enough to where he couldn't hear them. For better or worse. His words tasted bitter in his mouth, his mind replaying the charged argument over and over, causing his frustration to only increase.

God, why was he so fucking angry?!

Sure, he'd been angry for fucking years now. No surprise there, but it wasn't nearly as volatile as it had been with Blaine. Back on Seafoam, it'd been more of a simmering sort of rage, not an emotion so powerful that it threatened on breaking him with each new conversation. Why was it such a deafening fury now, why did it completely consume his reason? Why couldn't he ignore the pain like he had been for years now? Was it because of Blue? Was it because of the Pikachu he'd come across in Orre, for that brief amount of time? Both? Other things? What the hell was going on in his own head anymore?

Maybe it's because Blue makes you really look at yourself, his inner voice snarled. It was as if a shadow of himself were scolding him from the confines of his own head. Blaine was always a crazy fucking monster, so you could ignore your own sins. You killed those pokemon because you could blame everything on him one way or another. You could pass it off, just like you've always fucking done. "He made me kill them." "He made me rob them." "He made me do everything." But now? Blue's actually a decent person, despite everything, and you no longer have a way to blind yourself to the truth. You can't blame all your disgusting, horrible acts on him like you could Blaine or Lance. No one's making you scream or break or threaten children. He's just here for, really, just out of the goodness of his own heart. Because for some reason, he cares about you.

Flashes of the night prior bombarded his inner eye-- of Blue's terrified face as he took the gun, of the pain the crying tore through his own body, of the quiet, gentle embrace Blue had offered and Red had so greedily and selfishly taken in a moment of pure weakness. He soon found himself sitting on a rock, head in his hands and eyes shut tightly against the world. Face it for fucking once, Red. You're just mad because you're finally able to look in the mirror and actually see what you are now. Not because of Blaine. Not because of Lance. Because of you. And, like a fucking brat, you don't want to own up to it. Like always. Like the Championship. Like protecting Pallet. Like protecting your own fucking pokemon. Like giving a shit about anything. You disgust Blue, you disgust yourself. If Pikachu were even still out there, and by some miracle you even found him, he'd be disgusted too. He wouldn't want you back. No one would. Blue's just here out of obligation anyway, and the bat's so desperate for company he's staying with a self-proclaimed murderer. It's not for your winning personality, you repulsive ass.

Accept it, Red. You're fucking broken, and no one, not even you wants to pick up that fucking mess. The words, even without being spoken aloud or by anyone else, were knives in his chest and throat. There it was again, the flood of emotions. Oh god, he wished he could stop being such a wreck. His gloved fingers clutched at his hair as the tears built again and his mouth pulled into a grimace. The pressure in his sinuses were back, even as he fought against the lump in his throat. Not again. Please, not again. He didn't want to cry again...

Silence stretched between Blue and Mikhail as the latter finally left his spot behind the rock, and made his way back up to sit on Blue's shoulders. He didn't stop the bat, or try to shake him off. What was going through the little guy's mind? Had his explanation brought even more fear, instead of the opposite like he'd intended? All Blue can think of is that stupid gun, of how he'd already had to stand in its way twice and how Red had turned it against himself. In the end, it all lead back to his Pokemon. Blue tried to imagine himself in the same position, being told to shoot his loyal partners, his most trusted and closest friends, in cold blood. It was so easy to assume he wouldn't have done it, and that he would've rather died first than to squeeze the trigger. But would I really have made that choice? Red hadn't. What right did Blue have to say the opposite for himself, to think he was better than his old rival, when he was the coward who'd ran away? It was true that Red was not like him; he'd been through a hell of a lot worse. As much as it sickened Blue to think of innocent Pokemon dying, especially children, why Red had did it was all too plain. Even if Blue was missing pieces of the entire puzzle, it had to be that one act that knocked down the rest of the dominoes. I'm the lucky one, and I complained about it.

Then, of course, there was still Mikhail to think about. If Red proved too dangerous to stay with later on, then would the bat still stay here? The mountain was his home, and he could easily avoid Red if he wanted to, but still...if he wanted, the Noibat could go with Blue. It wasn't like he didn't have a spare Pokeball-but that suggestion could wait. Mikhail was wild, after all, and Blue didn't want to freak out the little bat even more than he'd already been.
"I didn't mean to... get you in trouble," Mikhail said in a soft voice. "I just... I'm just really glad I'm not alone anymore..." He's really just a kid. A lonely, scared kid. One stuck in the aftermath of a world gone to hell, with nobody around until he and Red had arrived; Blue knew he couldn't pretend he understood what that was like. He'd always had his Pokemon through these years, after all. How could he ever blame this kid, let alone be angry with him, for being excited to have company? "I'm sorry. I'll be more quiet. I'm just... so happy I found you two."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm not mad," Blue assured the bat, "And I won't leave you alone, alright? My Pokemon and I, we'll protect you."

A flicker of movement caught Blue's eye, and his already tense body went to grab the Pokeball containing his Arcanine, Siegmund-but the black fur and glowing rings revealed only his Umbreon companion, finally returned. Artorias. Behind him were the bulky form and palm leaves of Smough; the Exeggutor was simply too big to stay in their shelter, and so Blue quickly recalled him to his Pokeball. The Grass-type almost looked relieved to be back in the ball, and Blue knew he wouldn't have appreciated being stuck in what was a cramped space for him. It's best if Red doesn't come back to a bunch of Pokemon, anyways.
Artorias' red eyes flickered up to the Noibat, and easily spotted the lack of enthusiasm and child's energy that had consistently radiated from the creature before. Blue wasn't any more subtle; the Umbreon could read every nuance in that expression, the uncertainty and apprehension. Something had happened while he'd been gone, that he had little doubt about.
"Where's Red?" he asked; the lack of the other boy was all too obvious. But if he was gone for good, surely Blue would be doing more than standing there...Of course, there's always a chance he might not come back. Artorias knew he could not stop him if that was the plan; Red made his own decisions, not anybody else. The Umbreon only hoped that he would stay long enough to at least somewhat repair things between himself and Blue; both of them needed it.

"He went out for a bit. He'll be back," Blue responded, his last words almost too pointed. The Umbreon did not push him further, and instead gave his trainer a look: We'll talk about this later.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm not mad," Blue-guy gently replied, earning a look of hope from Mikhail. "And I won't leave you alone, alright? My Pokemon and I, we'll protect you." The young bat's eyes teared again, this time not from fear, but gratitude. His little heart swelled as he clutched the fabric beneath his claws closer. Though Red-guy was scary, he was truly glad to find him and Blue-guy. He leaned against Blue's neck, enjoying the small bonding moment between them before something in the shadows moved.

Mikhail stiffened and shirked back, but it was soon clear that his sudden fear was unnecessary. It turned out to be Blue-guy's other pokemon, the nice black and gold fox from earlier and the funny-faced walking planty-guy. He rose back to his original perch, eager to see them again, albeit not nearly as animated as he generally was. Umbreon paused as he looked them over, the small bat completely unaware that he could tell something had just happened.

"Where's Red?" Mikhail looked down, not knowing how to answer that question. It felt like he himself had done something wrong to make Red-guy so angry, and Blue said that he was sad... Poor Mikhail just didn't comprehend what was happening between them all, but in normal child-like fashion, he assumed he'd been the cause of the entire fight.

"He went out for a bit. He'll be back," Blue-guy answered, prompting the young bat on his shoulder to add quietly, "He got really mad..." His eyes brightened a little as a thought occurred to him. "Are you going to see if he's not mad anymore?"

----

It was too late. He was already choking back the sobs again, the irreparable damage from the night before still very apparent in his mind and soul. His inner voice was right. It was all right, and there was nothing Red could do to combat it. He was a monster. He was a soulless demon that fed on the lives he took from the living and the good around him. His hands clung desperately and angrily to his hair, his hat once more dislodged from its perch in his agony. How could he keep going like this? How could he... How could...

...How...

A cry cut through him, his face contorted in pain and agony, as once more the dam folded. Again? You're crying again? How fucking pathetic are you? What, spewing your snot all over Blue last night wasn't enough, you need another round of wallowing in your own self-pity? Who the fuck do you think you are, that you assume you get the right to cry about this? About what you did, the sins you and you alone committed? Blue was right. You could have run. You could have packed everything up in the night and fled like a normal person. But you stayed.

You called him a coward for running? Fuck you, you miserable bastard. You're the coward for staying. You knew something was wrong. You knew from the moment they asked for your pokemon something was off. But you stayed. You stayed because Lance scared you, because everyone else was doing the right thing. Only Blue had the common sense in leaving and he still has his friends. You shot all of yours.

You deserve to be alone. You deserve to be miserable. You deserve to hate yourself and you deserve everyone to hate you. Oh God, why didn't the voice stop? Why was it so relentless, so hateful? Red soon found himself curled on his hands and knees, trying in vain to stifle his cries as his inner voice ripped his defenses to shreds. No Blue here now, Red. No one to tell you it'll be ok. No one to coddle your precious fucking feelings. Because you've pushed them all away-- or shot them. And look, asshole-- you're finally alone. What you always wanted.

"He got really mad..." Artorias' ears twitched, attention returning to the crestfallen Noibat. He'd already quickly figured out that Blue was hiding something, but mad could mean a thousand different things-and with Red's instability, it was not likely to be anything light and fluffy. As much as Artorias wanted to protect him, there were some things you couldn't protect people from, and that included themselves. Blue, you're as stubborn as ever... The Umbreon adored his trainer, but this was not a time to be withholding information. It was then that Mikhail perked up, as if a grand idea had swept into his child's mind. "Are you going to see if he's not mad anymore?"  Blue glanced at his Umbreon; Red had been gone longer than he'd expected, but was it really a good idea to go looking for the guy after what had just happened? This didn't really feel like a good time to try and settle some differences, yet standing around wasn't accomplishing anything either. Why is everything so difficult when it comes to Red? Blue half-wanted to sigh and say no, but for all he knew, Red could very well march off and vanish while he was here. That would make his rival beyond help, and maybe even more vulnerable to whatever had cleared out the mountain. All of those bones...
"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to try and see if he's better now. Less trigger-happy, anyways."

"Blue, you can't be serious," Artorias interjected bluntly, "Do we really want to antagonize him? What if he pulls a gun on you, like last night? And besides, we can't bring him-"he gestured to the Noibat with a flick of his head-"-he's scared out of his mind." The Umbreon locked eyes with his trainer and hoped Blue would see reason, even with his desire to help people. This couldn't possibly be a good idea, not without at least some time passing first. They both very well knew how Red was-that required caution, and giving the man some space.
"I can't just let him stay out there alone," Blue's answer was expected, but no less disappointing. Artorias hadn't forgotten the bones either, nor the undead he'd personally fought off. Yes, Red was better at protecting himself than most, but that did not guarantee safety. His trainer was worried for the safety of the rival who'd once beaten him at every turn: Most would never have expected that, even in these days. "But you've got a point-you might want to stay here, Mikhail." Well, it was better than nothing.

"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to try and see if he's better now. Less trigger-happy, anyways." Mikhail's large ears perked at Blue-guy's words. Maybe if they went after Red-guy, then he'd be happy that they found him and then he wouldn't be angry anymore? It sounded like a solid plan, but it seemed that Umbreon felt differently.

"Blue, you can't be serious," was the Umbreon's immediate response, shattering Mikhail's hopes. "Do we really want to antagonize him? What if he pulls a gun on you, like last night? And besides, we can't bring him-" Umbreon flicked an ear toward Mikhail, which only saddened the bat further. "-he's scared out of his mind." Yeah... he was definitely right, as much as the small bat was loathe to admit it. His ears drooped a little; he didn't want to be the one to hold everyone back...

"I can't just let him stay out there alone," Blue-guy spoke, his tone set. "But you've got a point--you might want to stay here, Mikhail."

The small bat blinked in alarm, looking to Blue-guy's cheek from his perch. "But-- alone?" he peeped, the fear evident in his expressions and voice. "I-I don't want to be alone... I just found you guys...!"

(Red is still wallowing in his own grief.)

"But-- alone? I-I don't want to be alone... I just found you guys...!"

Blue, you IDIOT. How stupid was he to suggest the bat be alone, in this alcove, where he'd almost been shot, right after Blue himself had said he wouldn't leave the little guy alone? He'd never been any good at watching his words, but this was an entirely new low. The fear in Mikhail's voice was all too obvious; if Blue could have kicked himself then and there, he would have gladly taken the opportunity. Artorias was watching Blue closely, the Umbreon waiting for his trainer to comfort the child. It hadn't been the best choice of words, true, but he could not blame Blue for that. It was a mistake, but not a catastrophic one, not even close.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant," Blue said as he scrambled to not let his own lack of linguistic awareness scare the bat even further, "I didn't mean I'd leave you all by yourself, with nobody else. I have other Pokemon, and all of them can keep you safe here while I check on Red." It was a shoddy explanation, but even a poor one was a lot better than nothing at all. "I can't stop you if you want to come along, but..." Blue searched for the right words to tell the Noibat, uncertain of how the little guy would respond, or if it would sound like Blue was blaming him for what had happened. This is why you should watch what you say, genius. Maybe from then on, he should leave the "careful" aspect of speaking to his Umbreon, who actually knew what he was doing.

"He doesn't want you getting hurt," Artorias finished the sentence for him, picking up what his trainer was looking for. As the Umbreon had come to expect and admire him for, Blue was looking out for those other than himself. Despite his...stumbling over words, the man had a big heart. Something Artorias both respected, and sometimes protected him from. In this situation with Red, that protecting might just be necessary.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant," Blue-guy quickly backtracked. Mikhail's fear dimmed at the words, if only a little. "I didn't mean I'd leave you all by yourself, with nobody else. I have other Pokemon, and all of them can keep you safe here while I check on Red." So he wouldn't be alone again? That... that was good. His large, bright gold eyes watched Blue-guy as he continued to speak. "I can't stop you if you want to come along, but..."

"He doesn't want you getting hurt," Umbreon finished while Blue-guy was lost for words, earning a small smile from the tiny bat. That sounded ok. Right? Blue-guy and Umbreon went to go get Red-guy and he would have a new friend to meet and play with! Yeah! That sounded great, actually!

"Okay!" he chirped, flapping from Blue-guy's shoulder to a nearby rock. "I'd love to meet more friends! Oh! What about the bat friend? She was nice! We can play and we won't bother nobody, promise!"

----

Red's body ached as he stayed curled in a ball on the craggy ground, his hands clenched to his exposed hair. His back was to the world as he tried to regain control of his rampaging emotions, but it was proving extremely difficult. So much hate, so much anger, all directed at himself. He was being suffocated with the intensity of it all. How was he supposed to keep going like this? To just push all of this weight and burden aside and keep truckin' like there was nothing wrong in the first place? How was he supposed to keep his head in front of Blue?

Maybe you don't. Maybe you just leave.

Leave? Red opened his eyes to see nothing but dark granite as the grip on his hair loosened. Leave the mountain?

Sure. If Blue won't, then you certainly can. It's not like they're looking for you anyway. They probably won't even bother trying to find you until tomorrow, so that gives you plenty of time to get a head start.

"Head start"...? For what?

You know what.

Red swallowed and slowly uncurled from his ball to look at his side, where one of his guns was still placed. He hadn't brought it to have another dramatic episode, he simply just didn't like being unarmed. Hell, he'd barely realized it was there at all. But...

You did it so easily last night. What's stopping you now? You know this mountain better than anyone. All you have to do is remember a good hiding spot and pick a place to do it, and then problem solved.

The casual sentiment hurt him; he didn't even know why it did. But his hand trailed to the gun at his hip, his eyes staring blankly ahead as his mind and heart raced each other. However, his other hand went to the same spot on the other side, feeling the empty holster and something hard and round. The touch was foreign and weird, as he'd anticipated his other gun instead and cause him to turn to see what he'd touched. His brows furrowed, his eyes watering again at the sight of the old pokeball. The last one. The only one that could still hold anything.

The hand on the weapon dropped as the other held the pokeball tenderly, Red's eyes going over every detail as if it were the first time he'd seen it. It was old and worn, of course. He'd had it for years, after all. But... All the scuffs and dents and scratches... Beneath all the wear and tear, there was hope. His last hope that Pikachu was still alive somewhere. It had been the only reason he hadn't shot himself then and there after killing the rest of his team, why he endured Blaine and Seafoam, why he was still going, even now. That little dipshit rodent was the single reason he was still alive, and that pokeball was the only tangible symbol Red had for Pikachu.

No...
Not "Pikachu"...

He has a name... was the only thought in Red's head as he stared down at the abused ball. He has a fucking name... they all do. Did. And you can't even call them by those names. Not even when they're dead. Red closed his eyes against the next wave of hate, anger and despair. How many more times could he do this? How many times could he keep falling over and over into that pit he always seemed to find himself in? But this new wave was accompanied by more guilt, more revulsion than normal. You can't even call them by their names...

Coward.

"Okay!" Thank god the bat's answer to his awkward attempts at salvaging the talk was a chipper one. Blue smiled back at Mikhail as the Noibat settled on a rock, his returning enthusiasm positively contagious. "I'd love to meet more friends! Oh! What about the bat friend? She was nice! We can play and we won't bother nobody, promise!" Daisy, huh? Hmm. It'd probably be best to have someone closer to Mikhail's age there, and Daisy would finally have a chance for some fresh air again, but leaving two kids alone with nobody to protect them didn't settle right with Blue. He'd have to bring out someone else as well, to be completely safe. There was no way in hell Blue was taking any chances when it came to the two kids, especially when Daisy couldn't fly. Considering the mountain and what should be here, it might be best to use Tarkus. Admittedly, Blue also couldn't help but think of the Charizard that Mikhail had seen when he settled on bringing out the Rhydon.

"Daisy it is, then," Blue said to Mikhail, then proceeded to make accommodations as quickly as he could for the crippled Zubat. He took out a folded jacket from his pack (it barely fit him, really) and placed it near the rock that Mikhail had claimed for his own. As Blue grabbed Daisy's Pokeball, his Umbreon appeared next to him, the slightest hint of stress beginning to appear in his typically calm expression.
"I'll go ahead while you wrap up things here, Blue," Artorias murmured, red eyes continuously glancing over at the entrance of their hideaway. The man nodded, understanding the Dark-type's concern; Red had been gone far longer than Blue had anticipated. In truth, he was taking far too long, but he needed to make sure Mikhail would be fine if all three of them weren't back for some time. Blue didn't like leaving Daisy anywhere without him, but...sometimes things didn't work out perfectly. As the Umbreon left with haste, Blue released Daisy from her Pokeball and carefully set the Zubat upon the soft cloth, hoping it would be comfortable for her. She squeaked happily upon seeing Blue and Mikhail, none too abashed by her earlier, sudden retrieval into the ball.

"Dais can't fly, or move very easily, but she's still got a ton of enthusiasm," Blue explained; the Zubat's had presence calmed his nerves a little bit. Even if she couldn't fly, Mikhail wouldn't be disappointed or bored, right? Well...considering the circumstances, there was no time to really talk about it, or ask. Blue then reached for Tarkus' Pokeball, making sure that the Rhydon was not near the two kids when he was released. He landed with a loud thud, and looked more than a little miffed over how little room there actually was for him; upon seeing the Noibat, Tarkus narrowed his eyes, but didn't say a word. It didn't escape Blue's notice how the Rock-type's expression became less stony when he saw Daisy with the other bat. He's always been a softie.
"This is my old pal, Tarkus," Blue told Mikhail, ignoring the look of "I can introduce myself, you know" from the Rhydon. Tarkus might have been as mean as a cotton ball at heart, but his rather gruff nature never earned him friends. It wasn't a surprise that Blue hadn't brought him out around Red. "He'll keep you guys safe while I'm away. Is that good with you?"

"Daisy it is, then." Mikhail couldn't help but give an almost maniacal laugh in reply, too excited to meet the young bat again. He hopped and flapped and did other energetic things as Blue-guy got things prepared for their play date. Oh, this was gonna be so fun!

"I'll go ahead while you wrap up things here, Blue," Umbreon stated, looking weird. Tense? Scared? Mikhail's bright yellow eyes watched the vulpine Dark type a moment before being consumed again by excitement for his friend's appearance. "Okay!" He simply couldn't sit still. Blue-guy formed a little nest on the ground with an old bit of clothing -Mikhail didn't know or care as to what kind- before releasing Daisy.

"Dais can't fly, or move very easily, but she's still got a ton of enthusiasm," he explained as Mikhail immediately dove down near the nest and hopped to Daisy, putting his chest and chin to the ground and his butt in the air. "Okay!" he chimed again, completely unaware of his repetitive replies. He barely noticed the shake in the ground as another pokemon was released nearby.

"This is my old pal, Tarkus," Blue-guy spoke, earning at least a brief glance from the small bat. "Hi, Mr. Tarky-guy!" he nearly shouted, too excited to lower his voice. He stood and waved with a winged arm, then sat back in the comfy cloth-nest Blue-guy had made. "He'll keep you guys safe while I'm away. Is that good with you?"

"Okay!" he replied happily once more, rolling around in the cloth as he played with Daisy. He was soon giggling madly, unable to restrain his overwhelming excitement.

---------

Red sat in the silence of the mountain for... he wasn't really sure how long, knelt on the ground and staring blankly ahead of him. His hat was once more discarded to the side, his left hand gently clutching Pikachu's beaten pokeball. His mind was whirling with thoughts and yet completely quiet. A cacophony of numb silence. The paradox consumed him, rendered him paralyzed as it devoured his soul... or what was left of it. The anger and hate directed at himself were stuck in it like knives as it slowly bled out and there he was, incapable or unwilling to stop it. He wasn't sure which. Did it matter if he did?

Quiet footfalls sounded nearby. At first, he didn't respond to them, but his instinct to protect himself were beginning to override the damage his episode had caused, pushing him back into his senses. He blinked, his hands twitched and he slowly turned his head to listen better. The footsteps were still there, but barely audible. Hands now on auto-pilot, Pikachu's ball was returned to his side as he quickly drew his gun. He tried to stand but soon found that his legs were asleep and he stumbled backwards back onto his ass as the tingling pain shot up his legs. Shit, how long had he been there?

With his mind more or less back to normal, Red leaned back against a craggy wall and aimed his gun, waiting for movement. When he finally did, he cocked back the hammer, but paused when he saw gold and black. Umbreon. The gun lowered as the Dark-type finally came into view, Red's shoulders sagging a bit as the gun went down to rest against his leg. "Oh..." His voice sounded hollow at best. "...It's you."

Daisy chirped inquisitively at Mikhail as the other bat began to roll around, and her ears twitched with each of his giggles. It looked like the two would get along well...as long as Mikhail didn't exactly roll right over one of Daisy's wings in his excitement, anyways. With Tarkus watching over them, Blue was confident that the bat kids would be completely safe, and he had already spent too much time here. It was finally time to catch up with Red, though the prospect was not one to be described as "thrilling."
"I'll be back quick," Blue told the other Pokemon as he left, earning a grunt from Tarkus and a sad squeak from Daisy. The little Zubat was even more put out when Blue was actually gone, and now barely took notice of her companion's cheer. She'd just been released, but he wasn't even taking her along! That wasn't fair. As Tarkus moved a little closer to the entrance, in order to keep watch, he spared a glance back at the rather discontent-looking Daisy.
"C'mon, don't pout."
"But I wanted to see Blue!"
"You can see him later. You really wanna pout like that in front of your little buddy?"


It wasn't hard for Artorias to follow where Red had gone. Emotions collided and fought each other in a turmoil inside his very being, fear and anger and countless other shards of natural responses mixing together in a chaotic amalgam. Red had threatened to bring harm upon Blue, Artorias, and even himself, had admitted to killing his own Pokemon and others, all things that any other person would have been swiftly condemned for, and yet...Artorias could not feel truly hateful towards the boy. That night, when all of the secrets and the darkness of the past had finally been brought into the light, he chose to become the guardian of not only Blue, but Red too. Was that truly the best choice? Artorias did not know. He'd always been seen as the logical one, the wise Pokemon; how would he be seen now, if others could gaze into the depths of his soul? Perhaps it did not matter. When he could finally see Red, the boy looked haggard...and he had his gun out, though not pointed at anything. Artorias was not surprised; he could not register a single thought towards the gun that went beyond the fact it was almost a part of Red's very being. More than threats, more than self-defense, the weapon was like a symbol of the man, or at least the part of him that had been so visibly broken.
"Oh..." Even his voice sounded more fitting for an empty husk rather than a flesh-and-blood human being. Maybe this is why I cannot hate him. He's gone through enough pain to last several lifetimes. "...It's you." Artorias had no answer. He was here, but what words could possibly be spoken? Red hadn't left the mountain, or at least not yet, and he didn't seem ready to snap at any moment. That was what he had come here for, to make sure, but the Umbreon does not feel like his job is yet over. I want to protect Blue. I want to protect Red. But what if the two simply aren't compatible?

At that moment, he can hear footsteps that undoubtedly belonged to Blue. As his trainer approached, Artorias decided that he would get answers-and perhaps gain more perspective on this entire situation. He could not possibly protect anyone with these unsettled emotions inhibiting him, and what was he if not a guardian? I've gambled everything I am on this role, I cannot mess it up.
"Now that you're here too, Blue, would you two mind telling me exactly what happened while I was gone?" The Umbreon spoke before Blue could say a word, and did his best to ignore the slight surprise on his trainer's face. I cannot let anything happen to them, and that means keeping them from getting at each other's throats.

For a while, Umbreon doesn't say anything, and frankly, Red found the silence both comforting and condemning. It seemed as if the vulpine was simply coming to find Red and what he was up to, but then he just... stayed. Red could only blankly stare back until he heard more footsteps-- heavier ones. Red's eyes flicked upward to see that god-awful spiky brown hair peek over the rocks before Blue came out in full view. Of course, the soldier couldn't keep his eyes on his old rival, shame pulling his gaze down. "Now that you're here too, Blue, would you two mind telling me exactly what happened while I was gone?"

Red blinked in confusion as he lifted his head back to look at Umbreon, honestly blanking on what the hell the pokemon was talking about. Blue said nothing, which was surprising but not helpful, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the air. Wait... hadn't he and Blue just fought? Wasn't... Oh right. He'd nearly shot the kid because... of... loudness? Something... he was annoying, or something. God, that sounded terrible when he repeated it in his head like that. "We don't... have to do this," Red spoke quietly, his voice small and broken. He couldn't be around these people... any people, for that matter. He was too volatile, too psychotic. He wasn't fit to be around living creatures anymore because all he knew now was death.


[[I'm assuming Mikhail and Daisy are just playing.]]

"Now that you're here too, Blue, would you two mind telling me exactly what happened while I was gone?"

Blue didn't need to be a genius to figure out there was something wrong with Artorias, but exactly like what had happened with Mikhail, he stood there like an idiot trying to find the right words. Red looked at Artorias as if the Dark-type had been speaking gibberish, and neither of their reactions were likely to be of any use to the Umbreon. Just tell him something before he gets pissed at both of you. But what was Blue supposed to say? "Oh, Red threatened to shoot a kid for being annoying, but it's nothing to worry over!"
"We don't... have to do this," Red spoke up with not a single trace of the usual bitterness or sarcasm. It was a far cry from the quarrel that had occurred, what, not even a half hour ago? Between Artorias' obvious agitation and Red's sudden subdued nature, Blue wasn't so certain anymore about dragging up what had gone on.

"Artorias...he's right." Blue never thought that he would agree with Red so quickly after their last row, but stranger things had happened. Besides, his rival sounded nothing like the hostile, rancorous man that had snapped at him before; this quiet Red was nothing like...well, Red. Blue couldn't imagine this person before him admitting to killing children. I said he wasn't soulless before, and it's not like he handled the deaths of his Pokemon well. So much killing, it's gotta be taking its toll. He had casually written off Red as only "messed-up", but it went much farther than that; his rival needed help. That was plain enough. Am I only making things worse, though? Blue had no idea what he could do when he was stepping on eggshells every time he interacted with Red, nor did he know if his rival actually wanted any of his help. "Now probably isn't the best time-"

"When is the best time, Blue? When we reach the top of the mountain, maybe?" Artorias had not been so...perturbed in a long time. Blue couldn't tell if he was actually angry, or just freaking out; either way, it was unlike him to not be level-headed. Then again, he's been through a lot-we both have.
"Look, we fought, alright? I was planning on telling you, but not like this."

Red had little strength to fight Umbreon or Blue, much less both simultaneously, but the first words out of his old rival's mouth shocked him. "Artorias...he's right," he answered, actually agreeing with Red and avoiding the Umbreon's question. Red lifted his head a little, unsure of what to do with Blue's sudden change of heart. Why on Earth would Blue defend him now? "Now probably isn't the best time-"

"When is the best time, Blue? When we reach the top of the mountain, maybe?" Umbreon snapped back, interrupting Blue to the surprise of both the latter and Red. Umbreon must have... really felt strongly, then. It only pushed Red's guilt further; he knew Umbreon well enough to know he never snapped like this. Even when he held a gun to him last night, Umbreon did nothing but lay there and stare before stalking off into the darkness to go and patrol once the danger had passed. He must have pushed the pokemon to this. Sounded right, anyway. "Look, we fought, alright? I was planning on telling you, but not like this," Blue retorted, still somehow valiantly keeping their bickering out of the light.

Red heaved a long, heavy sigh. It wasn't worth Blue straining his relationship with his pokemon, his starter most of all. He wasn't worth their time, nor their efforts. He shook his head and realized that his gun was still in his hand before leaning forward to put it back in its holster. "Thanks... Blue," he began, his voice still hollow from all the emotion he'd just drained out of himself, "but it's not worth it." He looked down to Umbreon, his expression tired, if anything. "We got in a fight and I nearly shot the kid and... Blue, I guess." The words tasted sour on his tongue and he suddenly felt a need to run. To bolt. To just... get out of this conversation. He pushed himself up, keeping his back supported with the wall.

"Look, I..." Why were words always so hard? Especially to them? It was a prime example why he had normally chosen silence as a kid, that was for sure. Even if he was actually happy back then. And not a murdering ass. "I'm not... right. I'm not well." He kept his eyes down, directed at his feet. It was the only way he'd be able to get through this; if he saw their faces, their eyes, he'd lose his nerve. "You should just... leave... guys. It's not far down the m-mountain..." Oh God, no, was he about to cry again? But he'd already cried so much. How could he possibly have tears left? He lowered his voice in a last-ditch effort to save what little dignity he had. "Indigo P-Plateau is functioning as a haven. If Daisy or Professor Oak are anywhere, it's there. Go find your family and... forget about me." His shoulders sagged and the pressure in his sinuses were back. "You don't... deserve... to have to deal with me..."

The tension between Blue and Artorias is thick enough to cut straight through. Blue can't recall the last time in the past four years that they've gotten this close to an outright fight; had he really been so blind to how his Umbreon was feeling?
A drawn-out sigh from Red brought both of their focuses back to him. It was difficult for Blue to imagine how he could have also missed how haggard his rival really was; he was almost like a dead man walking. "Thanks... Blue," Red said, "but it's not worth it." Not worth it?

"We got in a fight and I nearly shot the kid and... Blue, I guess." Red told Artorias, and the Umbreon did not look pleased. However, he didn't say a word, and instead allowed Red to continue speaking, his tail twitching every few seconds or so. Blue didn't interrupt either, awaiting what the man would say next. There was a pit forming in his stomach, a cold feeling of dread starting to creep along his skin. "Not worth it..." Was Red trying to say that he wasn't worth it, or that trying to keep him from being overwhelmed wasn't worth it? The mountain air suddenly feels as if it's several degrees cooler.
"Look, I...I'm not... right. I'm not well." Red wasn't looking at either of them; was he ashamed of being unwell, or afraid? Blue had condemned him so easily before, made his judgments in a snap; now, though, he could only find himself wholeheartedly believing his rival. There was no point in sugarcoating a problem-Red wasn't well. It was plain to see. But that didn't mean he wasn't worth trying to help. I can't believe that. But Red...he believes it. What do I do...?
"You should just... leave... guys. It's not far down the m-mountain..." There it was, the one thing Blue had hoped not to hear.
"Indigo P-Plateau is functioning as a haven. If Daisy or Professor Oak are anywhere, it's there. Go find your family and... forget about me." After that, there was only one way for Blue to describe how Red looked, and that was defeated. There was nothing strong or proud in the man's posture, or his speech. This is-Red doesn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to be brought to this state, to have been threatened into shooting his own Pokemon, none of it. Indigo Plateau may have been a haven, but how could Blue ever live in peace if he left Red on this mountain alone, with nobody to help him?
"You don't... deserve... to have to deal with me..."

"Red, I..." Blue didn't have time to think of a fancy response; Red didn't need something contrived and useless. "You don't deserve to just be left here." God, why did he have to be so bad at this? Blue had to be the absolute last person in the world that could truly help Red. I'm pathetic. I can't do a goddamn thing.
"And, even if I did want to go, I left them, my family...I didn't even try to get back to Pallet. Mom, Daisy, my granddad-they should have been the ones I went to first. But I didn't. And now I might not ever see them again. Hell, you're the first person from before that I've seen this entire time." The words were beginning to form a lump in his throat, but Blue forced himself to keep speaking. "I was a coward. I ran. I ran from humanity, I ran from my family, I even let Pokemon that trusted me be released into the wild, because I wasn't fast enough to reach them in time." Valjean, Zippy, Kaszal, the three that Daisy had adored and named personally. God knew if they were even alive. As his mind began to drag up all of the bitter, painful memories, the deaths of his Machamp and Gyarados soon followed. Andre. Ingward. They, too, had trusted him, and now they were dead. Mom could be dead, Daisy could be dead, Granddad too, everyone in his family, he hadn't seen them in so long. Would he ever see them again? Would they hate him for not going back to Pallet, for running away? Blue felt as if he was going to be sick.

"I don't deserve a safe place...and they might not even take me back. Lance, whoever the hell else is at the Plateau, I don't know. Even if my family's there, they'll just see me as...as the coward I am." Why did it have to feel as if someone had punched him straight in the chest, right over his heart? "I want to help you, Red. I wouldn't be here if I didn't, but...if you don't want me to stay, then my Pokemon and I, we'll go."